Being A Wallflower Isn’t Bad?

Cher & Salve, 

Being called a Wallflower isn’t an insult, people tend to assume it as an insult.

Being a wallflower means viewing the world differently, means understanding situations in a rare way, means you just like to be by yourself, means that you secretly like to be a little reckless…a wallflower means someone who is strong enough to stand up for themselves and not others. 

A wallflower. 

If I asked you what a Wallflower meant, what would you say? 

“Oh a wallflower is a loner, you know, the ones who don’t have any friends and creep the shit out of you?” OR “Those weird outsiders? Who cares, they don’t even do anything with themselves.”  

Here’s a quote to oppose that thought: 

“Silent People Have The Loudest Minds.”

Being silent or just being by yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t have any friends or you’re a loner. It just means you need some space, or you just need to be by yourself to think stuff through. 

Here’s a story I found over the internet:

“I have always been an introvert and until the age of 28 I always had a small number of friends and was capable of sustaining some sort of social life. Then at 28 I became ill with depression, and that lasted for 3 and a half years. During that period I fell into a rut and lost contact with all of my friends, and very rarely ventured out. I did in fact become a loner and a social  recluse. I increasingly began to feel like an outsider and a misfit, and began to distrust and dislike other people as most people I came into contact with just seemed to be disingenuous and phony. I am 41 years old now, and for the past 13 years of my life I have lived what can only be described as a solitary existence. I have no friends, they have all dispersed, got married, gone to live in other locations. The people that I grew up among all have lives of their own now and things have really changed. I don’t work, and my typical day consists of getting up, spending some time on the internet, then having some brunch, then taking my dog out for her afternoon walk, then returning home, spending some more time on the internet, then having dinner, then watching some TV, listening to music, then more internet.I have become a chronic loner, and I really don’t know how to change that. That’s not to say that I feel lonely all of the time, as most of the time I don’t. I keep myself occupied. But I do feel lonely sometimes, and when I’m feeling lonely I hate myself for having allowed myself to become this way. I see people my age and they are married and raising children and going out places …generally leading normal, conventional, healthy lives. And I just don’t get it. I still feel like the outsider, misfit and loner that I did all of those years ago, because that’s essentially what I still am.”

Is it possible to be alone and not feel lonely? Is it possible to be surrounded by multiple people and feel very lonely? 

I think that people who like to be by themselves sometimes or tend to avoid socializing are great people. I think people like wallflowers have interesting thoughts and views on situations and validate problems in a different way. I think being a wallflower shouldn’t be an insult anymore, I think it should be a compliment. 

According to books I’ve read and things I’ve seen, wallflowers or people who observe the world instead of being a part of it tend to come out as weak and quiet people but when put into the toughest of situations, can come out as the strongest. 

Any questions, comments or thoughts on this post? I’d love to hear from you;) 

“The hardest walk is, walking alone. But it’s also the strongest.”

Winter Girl



2 thoughts on “Being A Wallflower Isn’t Bad?

  1. Before I graduated I think even I was a wallflower or loner if you say. I think your writing just helped me figure out who I was when i was in highschool:)


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